April 24, 2009, 8:43 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Chapter 6 (Johann):

Now it’s my turn, biatchesss!

I was in Paris in a billiards hall. I don’t know if I was getting all excited over the game or if it was the gin and juice that gave me ideas…. I was playing some young d00d named Artur. He was hella girly. It was game-point, and I was losing. I was far behind.

When it was my turn, Arthur stumbled and accidently deflected the ball on the table. I lost. I challenge him to a duel! We went to a hotel to get our gats.

The hotel was open, and he lead me inside. He said, “There is no way to swash our beef – only a duel… to the death!”

“To the death!” I repeated, like an echo.

“Okay, so I only have two people in my life… my mommy and… wait one sec.” The girly-man asked for some paper, and pen, and some ink. He wrote a few lines and gave the paper to me. “Look – it’s not a trick!”

“I believe you homie, I don’t want to read your stupid paper.” I gave him the paper back. Artur closed the letter. He took some bling off of his finger to seal the wax. A tear ran down his cheek and fell onto the letter.

“Sir, you are a honorable man. If I die, take this ring: in my pocket you will find a letter, give them both to… later I’ll tell you who…”

“You ready to rumble?!”

We made a toast to the duel and took two pistols. We decided to go to the first empty corner to have our duel. At midnight, we were outside of the city. He placed the two pistols on the ground.

“Pick one, without touching them.” I picked one. Artur began to pray. “It’s time.”

I killed him, took the letters from his pocket, etc.

The letter to his lover had no address or name. It only had a note that said a place, a time, and a street. I followed it’s directions.

I stood in the meeting place and felt a small hand take my hand. I walked up some stairs and heard a door shut.

It was a HOTT night! This blonde girly-man’s lover was a fox! As I left, I began to think that her voice sounded very familiar. I ignored it and went down the stairs. Along the way, I got in a fight with a man with a dagger and killed him. I took his body into the light of a nearby lamp to find that HE WAS MY BROTHER!!

…and the worst part? The light also showed me that the girly-man’s lover was MY SISTER.


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

What … is … going … on?

Comment by Adrian

you’ll have to ask álvares de azevedo (except he’s wayyy dead)! he was the weirdo that wrote the book 😉

Comment by smellanizer

Why are funny people dead?

Comment by Adrian

well, a lot of the funny parts are my own personal touch… i would call him more of a “troubled” person, rather than a “funny” one hahaha

Comment by smellanizer

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