thoughts.


claudius (revamped.)
April 23, 2009, 9:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Capitulo 5 (Claudius):
Okay, so I was hella rich. I had orgies all the time and went to horse races and just spent the hell out of my money. One day, I was at the races when I saw this hella hott chick. I even saw her the next day at the theater She was the duchess Eleonora. Then, I saw her again at a ball. (stalker much?)

I loved her for 6 whole months before even speaking to her. One day, I decided to end that. I bought a key to her house off of some servant dude and I totally drugged her while she slept (/did the dirty with her, but she had nooooo idea!). Once I left, I knew that no other woman would ever satisfy me after being with her.

I eventually snuck into her house again, but this time I hid in her room before she got home. I took her goblet of water and mixed up my own special blend of roofie-colada. When she entered the room, her husband was with her. They were both thirsty, so they both drank of the glass. DOUBLE ROOFIE’D! Allllright.

Once they both started to feel the effects of the drug, I snatched her up and took her to my house (totally kidnapping, y’all!). She woke up at my house and was like “Did I just get Punk’d? Where’s my husband? Where’s Ashton?!” Too bad that it was REAL!

Blah blah we talked and she freaked out and was going to scream out of the window and junk, and I’m like “but I did all of this stuff for you!” and she didn’t care so I was like “you will just be ostracized if you go home, biatch.” She begged me for forgiveness and told me that she’d stay with me.

Then one day I came home to find her dead in bed…. and her husband’s body was embracing hers.

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