noite na taverna
April 20, 2009, 11:29 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , ,

Tonight I began to think of all of the ways that I could tell all of my friends about the story that I was reading for my Portuguese literature class (yes, I’m THAT excited about reading it…). I decided to keep my blog-readers updated on my reading progress by giving a short, funny, English summary of the parts that I read for the night. Oh yeah, it’ll be worth it.

Ohhhhh man, we are soooo drunk! We’re in a bar!!! All of those slutty girls are drunk and passed out. Hell yeah. Let’s have a toast…. or 4. We are so philosophical when we drink. Let’s tell stories and compete with each other! SB 1850!!!!!!

CAPITULO 2 (Sofieri):
Soooo this one time I was in Rome, and I was walking down the street when I saw this smokin hot chick in a doorway. She was really pale, like the moonlight. Yeah, moon. I like to compare her to the moon. Anywho, she walked out of the doorway and I was super-stalker-y and followed her. She sang a bit. It was nice. I followed her straight into the cemetary! She layed on a tomb and cried all night while I slept.

I returned to Rome about a year later. I left this drunken orgy, right? I was like OMG WHERE YOU AT, GURL? No kisses from other girls would satisfy my longing for the beautiful moon girl. I was sooooo drunk that I totally had no clue what I was doing and I ended up in a temple. There was a casket that was slightly open, so my drunkass opened it all the way and BAM! IT WAS THE MOON GIRL! How dare she be in this casket! I took her out of it and carried her into the cemetary, while kissing her “a thousand times on the mouth” (Azevedo). I am SO into dead chicks. I was sooo in love with this dead chick! Suddenly, she started to wake up…. she wasn’t dead! She had some weird fainting disease, I guess. I carry her out of the cemetary, towards my house. A guard stops me, but I tell him that she is NOT dead and she is my boo. I get her home, finally, and I take care of her. 2 days later she dies of a fever.

I make a tomb for her and I sleep on top of her for a while…. then I get some guy to make a wax statue of her. I’m a creeper. The end.

My friend and I are actually presenting the second chapter for class tomorrow. We were really distraught, because we wanted to make our presentation perfect.


We can’t just get up in front of the class and be like ‘uhh… necrophilia jeopardy!’

and the ever-so-awesome


We need a depressing background… ohh Euro soccer, that’s depressing.. ?

*edited 4/21/09 10:49PM


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I love it when you “translate” great literature for us 🙂
You should totally work for CliffsNotes

Comment by Ceci

haha thanks! i’m glad that you liked it. i am working on the 3rd chapter right now 🙂

Comment by smellanizer

It seems like a fun way to get more out of the reading, lol.

Comment by Ceci

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