April 26, 2009, 11:26 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

The Twilight Criterium was yesterday. There were a lot of drunk people… I include some of my friends in this statistic.

My friend had been awake for over 24 hours and he was TRASHED! We were at a Japanese restaurant when these lovely situations arose.

Me (while eating miso soup)

Want some seaweed?

Drunk Friend

Ya know that that’s been in someone’s toes, right?

Sober Friend

How was the ride home yesterday?

Drunk Friend

We bought chicken fingers!… and deodorant!

Sober Friend

You’ve been downtown straight from 7:30AM?

Drunk Friend

No, I layed down for a few hours in the grass. with Mary Jane… then I mowed the grass… and then something else kind of cool happened.

My friend Visar is an interesting fellow. At my friend’s birthday party, he told me about how he had come home the night before in his underwear will all of his clothes draped over his arms. He isn’t quite sure how that happened… but last night, he was determined to get this group of girls to go downtown with him. He asked them “If I dance around in my underwear, will you go downtown with us?” and he proceeded to strip to his underwear, beer can in hand, and dance for them – on the side of the road. I guess he figured that he ended up in his underwear the night before, so what was another time? I only missed this spectacle by about 5-10 minutes…. my friend David had to fill me in on the happenings.


suspiros de españa
April 25, 2009, 8:47 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Last week, for my Spanish film class, I watched Soldados de Salamina. This scene sticks out in my mind more than any other. The soldier in the scene is singing “Suspiros de España,” which is a very famous pasodoble song.

last one!
April 24, 2009, 9:52 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Capitulo 7 (The Last Kiss of Love):
The orgy was over. The guests all slept in the darkness, full of wine. Some gothic-looking chick with a lantern entered the room and looked for a familiar face in the group.

She stopped at Arnold. She looks as if she will kiss him, but continues her search. She stabbed Johann. She returns to Arnold, who is really Artur. He didn’t die from the duel! He was alive! (this thing happens all the time in literature…)

She was once “Géorgia,” the virgin, but was now “Giorgia,” the prostitute.

She was there to say goodbye to Artur, for she was going to die. She took out a dagger and stabbed herself. Artur does the same, and falls upon her. The lamp goes out.

April 24, 2009, 8:43 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Chapter 6 (Johann):

Now it’s my turn, biatchesss!

Continue reading

April 24, 2009, 6:50 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

claudius (revamped.)
April 23, 2009, 9:25 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

Capitulo 5 (Claudius):
Okay, so I was hella rich. I had orgies all the time and went to horse races and just spent the hell out of my money. One day, I was at the races when I saw this hella hott chick. I even saw her the next day at the theater She was the duchess Eleonora. Then, I saw her again at a ball. (stalker much?)

I loved her for 6 whole months before even speaking to her. One day, I decided to end that. I bought a key to her house off of some servant dude and I totally drugged her while she slept (/did the dirty with her, but she had nooooo idea!). Once I left, I knew that no other woman would ever satisfy me after being with her.

I eventually snuck into her house again, but this time I hid in her room before she got home. I took her goblet of water and mixed up my own special blend of roofie-colada. When she entered the room, her husband was with her. They were both thirsty, so they both drank of the glass. DOUBLE ROOFIE’D! Allllright.

Once they both started to feel the effects of the drug, I snatched her up and took her to my house (totally kidnapping, y’all!). She woke up at my house and was like “Did I just get Punk’d? Where’s my husband? Where’s Ashton?!” Too bad that it was REAL!

Blah blah we talked and she freaked out and was going to scream out of the window and junk, and I’m like “but I did all of this stuff for you!” and she didn’t care so I was like “you will just be ostracized if you go home, biatch.” She begged me for forgiveness and told me that she’d stay with me.

Then one day I came home to find her dead in bed…. and her husband’s body was embracing hers.

April 22, 2009, 11:28 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,

Capitulo 4 (Gennaro):
So, since we are all WASTEY-FACED, I will once again try to top the story before mine.

I was 18 and I was the apprentice of a painter named Godofredo Walsh. His wife was a total hottie (and only 20 years-old!). I fell in love with her. His daughter wasn’t too bad, either. She was 15 and she would come into my room at night to do tha nasty… but I didn’t really like her. She tried to get me to marry her, but I refused. She soon died of depression (while pregnant with my child!). Oops.

After his daughter died, Walsh would go into her room at night (all night!) and wouldn’t sleep…. so I TOTALLY got all up in his bed with his wife every night. Once he found out, he was pisssssed! BUT before he found out, he took me into his daughter’s old room and pulled the bedsheet away to show me a painting. The painting was of a dying young woman – Laura! He was remembering his daughter this way?! What a creep….

For some reason, he allowed me to stay in the house.

One night, d00d asked me to accompany him into the countryside because he didn’t want to go alone. He went to a little cottage and spoke to a woman. She gave him something, but I’m not really sure what it was. He returned to my side and he gave me two options. He told me that I could either kill myself or be killed. I chose to throw myself off a cliff…. I don’t remember much, but I woke up and I was like “uhh, I’m alive?” I made the trek back to his house to beg for his forgiveness and shizz, but once I got there, I changed my mind.

When I arrived at the house, I went straight for his room. His hottie wife was there, slumped over a desk. She was dead, y’all!! She was not-so-hott with yellow skin… I saw the old man’s body as well. He had green foam coming out of his mouth. He had poisoned her and then poisoned himself. The end!

*edited 4/23/09 8:08 PM